The Secret

I want to hear the secret hiding within the trees

The wind talks gently to the trees

I want to know the story of birth and creation

I want to know how deep you feel and how dark you will go

I want to hear the secret only the wind and trees know

They whisper one to the other and back again

While the branches bend and wave 

Back and forth, they go

Sometimes, I sit and listen 

Hours pass

Days go by

The minutes travel and seconds fly

I still do not know the secret of your heart

I still do not know the secret of my heart

Who is the keeper of the minutes of time

Who is the keeper of this heart of mine

Who is the lover I ache for, so dear

Who is the master of my soul

And when will I FEEL

My hands ache 

My fingers caress the rough bark

My ears ache

My ears listen to the the silent ringing within

The ghost of my past, passes by

The memory of what was and what could not be

The ghost of my present torments me

The phantom hiding around the corner 

My future hides from me

Into the abyss I go

Fallen into time

Fallen into the roots of the beginning

Tangled, they are tangled round my feet

My toes disappear

As my heart crumbles

Little pieces of my soul are shattered and sent forth

Little pieces of my life flashing in my mind

I see the dance of romance, coming

I see the truth of darkness turning

I see the light of love commence

I see the change happen

I see the roots digging deep within the soil

I see the soul become complete

Of all this I see and know

Time eludes me

Time does not friend me

Time will not tell me more than the pictures show

So, I cultivate the soil and water the roots

Fertilize my life with love and growth

Allow the light to glisten my soul

Allow the light to glow

I breathe with the wind and sway with the trees

All of time happens in time's season

Falling leaves upon the ground

Winter snow pouring down

Spring brings forth budding flowers

And Summer time brings sun-filled hours

All of time happens in Time's Season

Wait for it

Wait for it

Manifesting Change

How do you manifest change in life?
First, you have to be grateful for what you have and for what you do not have.

When I began this manifesting journey, I awoke each morning with a song of joy on my lips and embraced the day for all the good the day promised.

This does not mean that I awoke in joy.
This does not mean that my life was a piece of cake.
This does not mean that being grateful for things that I didn't have, was easy.

Manifesting Change… and Faith…Belief…Hope…
My thought is, if you want it, whatever "it" is, you have to Hope for "it"…Believe in yourself and your ability to attain "it"…Faith is the belief that "it" has already happened and your are reaping the reward of what you want, now…

For the most part, I have experienced all of this and a little more…in some parts of my life…I still do not have all that I have been grateful for, for so many years… and yeah..I am bitter.

When I really consider that part missing from my life, I think… that is okay…because there are some parts of myself I am not ready to give to another…there are some traits that I am not ready to face~which means I will have to be vulnerable…and who wants to be all vulnerable.

Am I satisfied, yes… no… not really…in my heart of hearts there is this last thing I want to experience…This last part that has not happened.

The freaking for-real relationship/family/life thing…

I see it happening for so many people…not for me.
So, how do I manifest this change?
How do I become this relationship that I want, deep in my heart and soul?
When I let the fear guide me~
So, yes… I want to be saved.
There, I said it, I admit it… I want to be saved by the regal knight in shining armor… I want the romance and the light and the beauty…and the everything… I want a home and family…I have a little family, a half of a family…I need to be whole. I don't know how to be whole.

So, starting now…right this freaking minute…I am manifesting change… instead of running from what I  want, I am gonna get down into the core of who I am and what I want and who I want…so that the real relationship bullshit will manifest… Everything else is happening…why can't this happen?

Everything is possible.
All of life is possible.
Everything we desire is available… it really  is…I truly believe this…
So, I have had to go through lots of different types of fires to come to this point in my life…I have had to see heartache and heartbreak and fucked up diseases… yeah well, there is much worse… I could be dead…and I am not, so I might as well get on the truck and start making the changes necessary…stop being afraid.

I am grateful for my overflowing bank account
I am grateful for my dream car
I am grateful for my home and bills all paid
I am grateful for the wonderful people in my life/quality folks
I am grateful for my overflowing clientele
I am grateful for my charming son and all his awesome grades in school
I am grateful for my life partner~who is most amazing and inspiring~


so, everyday I will say this with Hope, Belief and Faith…because it is… I may add more as I remember what I am forgetting… LOL...