"Oops, there goes Charlie..." a phrase I have been saying since I was around 3 years old. Every time I see a cloudy white puff of dandelion floating through the air, I automatically say that phrase.
"Charlie" gave me a sense of the unknown. All my life, I watched "life" float by. Going here and going there and sometimes I would catch one, smile and let it go because I knew it had places to go and a job to do...I was content and felt I had a big secret about life. Funny thing was, the secret was not mine to know until I grew in knowledge of life and death. We are fleeting creatures, here for a moment and touching lives by imprinting upon the memory of those who love us. Our spirit lives on.
As I say the phrase, I have a memory of a dog who lived in my neighborhood. Charlie was a scruffy; brown Bengie looking dog. He didn't belong to anyone, and everyone fed him. I loved the Charlie. One day a young man/boy named Jamie climbed to the top of a Tower. I remember thinking that Jamie should have been a girl and not a boy because of the Million Dollar Man television series and Jamie was his wife or girlfriend...I remember feeling confused and concerned because that day, most of the neighborhood was outside watching what was happening with the boy who climbed the tower and Charlie, the dog was hit by a car. I remember wondering why no one seemed to be too concerned and I was sad. During the confusion and action, I watched Charlie take his last breath. Watching, I said, "Oops, there goes Charlie..."
The full memory was not intact until a few years ago. My son was 4 years old and my little Maltese had a litter of puppies. She was insecure and often carried the pups to lay at my feet. From the front of the house, to the back of the house she would carry those little buggers...and I would get frustrated and take them back to my room and put them in the middle of the floor. One day, my son ran into my room and tripped over and onto one of the pups. They were only about 3 weeks old and pretty much defenseless. The female he stepped on, was dying. She was bleeding from her nose and in pain. I knew that she did not have much time left in this world so I held her and sent loving energy until she took her last breath.
It was a hot July Summer day and my air conditioner was malfunctioned. My room was hot and her little body trembling as her breath shuddered. She breathed in and heart stopped and I watched a small wisp of puff escape from her mouth. I knew that she was dead. In that moment, I understood why I had been saying, "oops there goes Charlie"....
The unknown was made known to me. I watched a puzzle piece fit within the jigsaw mess of my life and I understood the nature of my being in a profound way. I have seen the Spirit/Soul leave the body. I have watched the essence dissipate into the air and witnessed puffs of dandelion weed remind me of life and death and my place in the world. To this day when I see a "puff" of life flit past me, I smile and remember the blessing of life and the purpose of the soul. I remember my loved ones, the ones who have gone on ahead of me to the great dissipation. A great sense of wonder inhabits my mind and I think of the many possibilities the Soul experiences. I let my mind escape, travel with the puff of dandelion, I am free. I am free. Content and connected. "oops, There goes Dona!"
