Remember The Love That Wasn't

Memories pulse within
I wonder at the eloquence of thought
I feel the trapdoor open
My thoughts spill toward the sunlit sky

Who are you to invade my being
Why must you come unannounced
I feel the terror of our love
The love that wasn't

Remember this
Times you lied
Times you cheated
Times you caressed my soul
Fingers bold and brazen
Fingers taking and making me yours

Times I wonder at our relationship
The relationship that wasn't
The love I gave was not in vain
I learned many lessons

Remember this
Times you lied
Times you cheated
Times you caressed my soul
Fingers bold and brazen
Fingers taking and making me yours

Memories of you
The tender caress
The light-hearted laughter
The way you held me close

Remember this
The love you gave
The ache of need
The passion and heat

When you left
Part of my heart cried
Part of my heart died
Buried in the ground
Concrete poured all around
Ripped tears from the jugular
Bloody tears pooled around
Drowning my soul
Drowning my soul

I look back at the memories
I see what I did not see
I understand what I did not know
You are not the man for me
You are not my heart nor my soul
You were a dream, for a moment
A nightmare for a time
A memory to have
A love to remember
A love to let go

Remember this
Times I cried
Times I loved
Times I gave
Times I forgave
Remember this
The Love That Wasn't

Memories pulse within
I am glad I remember
All that was and
All that wasn't

Inspired by The Alchemist by Paulo Cuelho

HEARTSONG
Everyday, I take strides toward my own Personal Legend!
I smile. Listening to my heart...
I say what I feel and I know what I know.
I feel the sands of time shifting and a righting of my world returning...
I hid for a while and now I rise from the flame and reach out to touch my fate!
Sun-kissed flaming lips and words form to create the beauty birthing from within.
See me from the inside...hear me, my words become tears transformed to diamonds...
I am strength and determination
I am hope and peace
I am living
I am death
I am part of now
I am part of this moment
I am here...

Where are you?
Do you know who you are
In this moment?
Do you feel the quest for knowledge in the secret part of who you are?
Do you seek your heartsong?
Do you feel the strings playing
And singing, bursting with pleasure?

I do.
I feel my heartsong.
I feel the pleasure.
I know the pain.
I express what I feel
Because I cannot contain this song...
This song will sing with me or
Without.
This song is part of my soul
Part of my heart,
Part of my Personal Legend.
Come on!
Let's sing it together!

We all have a place, a space and a note.
A life-story...a life meaning
A life message...
All of which becomes your personal legend!
What do you want?
What is the treasure you seek?

You do know that all of the universe will conspire for you when you ask...
Seek and you shall know.
Do you remember your life's path?
Remember me...
I will sing you a part of my heart song.
The part that plays for you!
You will remember your own
Personal Legend!
1/26/2010

What Never Was

He calls me baby
He calls everybody baby
He says I love you
It is so good to hear your voice

What am I supposed to feel
Seriously, what am I supposed to feel
Baby, I love you
I didn't mean to hurt You

Who am I that men don't want to hurt
Who am I, really
You wonder why I have trust issues
You really wonder

Baby, Yeah...Baby
You call everyone baby
Who am I to believe the words
Any of the words that come out of your mouth

It's a lonely ole night
And I put my arms around myself
Everynight
It's a lonely ole night, baby...alright...

He says, your mad at me
I say, no...I am not mad
You HURT me
All you did was Hurt me...

I am bruised to the quick
And damaged to the world
You don't even know what you took from me
Baby...you don't even know

Hearing your voice
I don't know if I can hear your voice
You are the same as you ever was...
You are the same as you ever was...

Me, I am transcending this plane of existence
I am flying up high
Vibrations and Resonation
Leaving this world behind

Whatchu got for me
Got any of that good ole decency
Seriously, Whatchu got for me
I have to have integrity

I fell in love with an Angel
I fell in love with a Darling
I loved a man whose heart was true
And all I did was blame him for all that you do

Me, I am transcending this plane of existence
I am flying up high
Vibrations and Resonation
Leaving this world behind

What do I say to you
How am I expected to feel
What is the meaning of this song
What is the meaning of this song

Oh Baby...
Written June 7, 2010

After a phone call from the ex...I had to get the emotion out... One day, I would love to hear someone sing this...put music to it...

The awesome thing, is that....I can feel how I want to feel...express my emotion and walk on...
One day, I want what any other girl wants...someone true...yeah, a knight in shining armor... I don't need to be saved...I need to feel worthy of someone who is worthy of me...

I'm just a real girl with thoughts and feelings and a way of being....just exactly who I am...so, for now...I am just gonna keep improving who I am...cause the golden mister is just a smile away...

Learn from the past and head to the present...toward today...smile and know that beauty is zooming to you...sometimes it has to go around a few blocks...turn a couple of corners...open a few windows...and then BAM... there it is, the right thing...the rightness always happens...be patient...listen...feel your way out of the tangles...look ahead...there is a light!!

The phone call mentioned above...sometimes, I miss what could have been...and then I remember...that could have been never was...so why keep myself locked up in the memory of what never happened... I really like what Is happening now...I like the twists and turns my life is taking...so, I figure...enjoy the ride! Enjoy life... ;)