The Cycle of Life

Again

by Dona Lackey on Friday, November 19, 2010 at 12:01am

I'm a dry creek bed
Rocks hot, rocks cold
Sun shining bright and burning
ShadeTrees reaching out, shading
Sitting on the porch swing, swinging
Life is like biting into a fresh, tart apple
Life is like biting the worm feeding on that apple
Sweet, sour and unexpected
And expected
Surprised and disappointed
Then, eating around the worm hole
To finish most of the apple
Thinking of hot rocks, cold rocks
Touching them and running
Yeah, touching them and running
I feel you out there in the breeze
I feel you in the wind
Rain falls down
Rain pours gently
Ground takes in the rain
Rocks look wet again
Til the sun shines
Til the sun shines
I am a dry creek bed
Dry creek bed, again
Life has cycles
Life has meaning
There cannot be one happening
Without another to balance the change
The rain will come again
The creek will flow
Time will be served for the cycle of life
Watch me grow
Anybody want an apple

Round and round and round life goes...Last year, I finally told my son that I had a disease. I did not tell him the name of the disease, just that sometimes, I get tired and need to rest...I let him know that there was nothing to worry about, I was not going anywhere, anytime soon.

Time has passed and a simple posting in a group on FaceBook brought my HIV status to the forefront of all my friends. I have been open about my status to family and close friends, and those who have sought me for intimate encounters... I was a little bit freaked out, at first and then I figured, WTH and posted a blog about my HIV and then a video about my positive attitude and self-worth...This was all fine and dandy...and I figured, I might as well tell the kid the name of my disease and how I came to be Pozitive...

My son is 10 years old and at this time does not have a complete understanding of sex and explaining HIV and how it was transmitted to me was interesting... His first question, was "what is a condom?"... ARGH!!! LOL
His next question, was "did 'He' give it to you on purpose?"
Needless to say, I had to calm the kid down about my ex...He was so ready to be mad...

The next thing he said, was "mom, you are so healthy...Why were you so worried about me knowing?"...

Ahhh this kid... it wasn't so much that I was worried about him knowing, it was...how do you give a kid the concept of an STD mixed disease/virus? I explained it to him in a way he would understand and reminded him that his sex class in 5th grade would be coming up in the middle of the school year and he could choose whether or not to talk about my HIV status...

Honestly, I do worry about the other kids possibly teasing him or name calling...I don't worry about me, but I do not want my son affected by the stigma... I explained the stigma associated with the Poz status...and still, I am giving him the choice to speak about me, or to wait until he is older...I will stand by his decision, gracefully...

The cycle of life happens...
for every happening, there is a reaction/action...
What is right, what is wrong...
This is a matter of perspective and my way of reacting to the action taking place.
We all choose how to be in this life...
How we react by the choices we make.
I choose to make my life fantastic!
I choose to react in a way that shouts to the world that I am doing alright!
I choose to raise my son to be a good and decent human being who is not defined by labels, because this mama...is not and will not ever be restricted to a label...
My son does not care that I am HIV Poz...all he cares is that I am his mom and that I spend quaility time with him... I plan to do everything in my power to stay healthy and well and keep my son happy...
and so, just call me Dona...because that is my name...my label...Dona