Dreams dance by
Twilight hours
Peaking at the moonlight
I sing into the night wind
Wondering, when…When?
When will the moonlight call me
Be my bride my sister my soul
Be my love my sister my soul
I ache for acceptance
In the mortal realm
I am a beginner at life
I am a beginner at the prospect of death
A goddess, in my last life
Worshipped and approved
Living here is damning
Tiring and spamming
Like an unwanted email in the bulk mail folder
Hmmmmm.
How do I continue
How do I begin
How do I end?
I do not feel accepted
I do not feel accepted
I do not feel accepted
How do I learn to feel
How do I learn to care
How do I pick up the pieces of my heart
and move on…
Right now, I am eating eggs and bacon wrapped in a tortilla
Drinking a Sapphire dirty martini
With Gouda stuffed green olives
I am feeling.
I am feeling a buzz and tasting
What else, nothing else
So much and so little, all at the same time
Dreaming of a dance
Where real love commences
Where the passion begins
Where the passion ends
Under the moonlight
Living within the moonlight.
Dream of me
See me with electricity streaming
From my fingertips
Watch me
Feel me
Be with me
Until the light fades
Oh, do not let the light fade
Dance with me in the moonlight
Dance with me in the moonlight
Sing a song of love and mercy
Sing a song of compassion
Heal me
Heal you
Breathe for me
Because I am breathless
Feel me
Feel you
and I am free
Free to be the woman I am meant to be
How can I be her
How can I be me
How can I move past this blood ridden disease
When deep inside, that is all they see
All they see is the disease, ripping through me
They sing and dance and play
I live in this place of terror
I live in this place of hell
I live
You die
I live again
Only to be rejected
Love rejected
Unwanted
Unspoiled
Untouched by human hands
Fucking tortilla taste good in my mouth
Yet, I want more.
I need more
I am tired of not having more
It is not easy to feel the way I feel
It is not easy to accept my disease
When there is no acceptance
There is no pleasure
There is only fear
And the pretending.
the pretending
The pretending
Maybe the martini made me drunk
Perhaps this emotion is needing to be spoken
I need to feel
So many times, I do not feel.
I do not feel.
I put it behind me like a hidden dream
I let it fall to the side of my soul
Quiet…shhhhhh the word is dirty
The word makes people uncomfortable
The word makes me shake on the inside
So, yes…I am crying
I am feeling
I am being
in the moment
The moment of my disease
And I Don’t want it, anymore
I want it gone from my life
Take it from my body
I want to be free.
I want to be free.
I am so sad right now
So, sad…
so, sad.
Gentle tears falling from the corner of my eye
shining…
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